W10: Dear Lecturer

 Alvin Jarryll Anak Joseph - 2202193

Dear lecturers,

  I have a lot of things to say and many are words of gratitude and appreciation for guiding me throughout the years of watching me grow in these college years. From the age as early as kindergarten to the early years of my young adult live in university. 

Lecturers worked tirelessly to guide us and the recognition they deserve is not enough to show how much of an impact a mentor can be to a person in their life. No one can question the fact that I've been taught a lot of things all my life, and sometimes it can be quite tedious and nonsensical.

Some guided me when I don't know what to do, aiding in my growth so I can learn even more in the process. Some are fun lecturers who made learning a fun process and gave us more hope and excitement when it comes to learning. Some are straight up no nonsense - straightforward kind of lecturer which is can be intimidating to learn from.

Not only am I going to talk about the good things I have experience, but also the bad things and the "suffering" I have experienced as well. I'm just gonna start about my times in Diploma, the pressure and stress that I've experienced which I am wholly not prepared for, the overwhelming anxiety and emotionally draining experience of constant deadlines and sometimes understated feelings of depression.

Why are we given so much work and to be expected to be able to finish them within a short period of time without causing students to mentally suffer from stress, anxiety and fatigue. I can't count on one hand how much assignments I needed to complete in a week - just to have another assignments that's due the week after. Week after week, all I've been doing my assignments like a factory robot.

There is not much else I could do to enjoy myself and to be able to relax as the pressure of relaxing mentally drains the fact assignments deadline are always ever haunting. Sometimes, there are even lecturers who are new, which I understand, can be overwhelming to teach a bunch of students and not expect any trouble. But at least, have the decency to actually teach us something and help us in answering some of our questions.

Deflecting the questions and giving us a different answer to an unrelated question is not a good way for us to learn, even if the lecturer don't know what to do, at least join us in learning instead of just telling us what to do without teaching us how to do it.

No matter - not all can be good or even great lecturers but the effort to teach is still nonetheless there, or else things could have been much worse for students who are unaware of their own plight. This is my I am very appreciative and full of gratitude to my lecturers while also had some feelings of contempt when things don't work out as well.

W6: Dear God

Alvin Jarryll Anak Joseph - 2202193

Dear God,

It’s me ya boy, Alv. How are things with the kids? Hope you and Samael are on good terms. I’m really happy with my life right now. Met an amazing group of people at the beginning of this year. It always feels like home when talking to anyone in the group. I’m glad I left my previous life behind me and not seeking any parts of it out.

I’ve started to make music again which still needs a lot of work but it’s getting there which is good. I’m still trying to get a good diet and workout in my daily life but it always crumbles because I’m just too much of a foodie. Thinking of skating again but the skatepark I’ve always gone to got demolished which is really upsetting. The skatepark was like a second home to me. I’ve been there ever since I was a kid and to see it get demolished is really heartbreaking. The other skateparks are wonderful to skate in but it just doesn’t feel right so maybe I’ll just quit skating and find something new to do.

 

I’m trying out video editing and it has been really fun so far. Okay time for some jokes. What do you call a marathon for pastors? A Rev-Run (sounds like reverend - it’s funnier verbally I promise). What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in the crack. What did Micheal Jackson call his denim store? Billie Jeans. How do billboards talk? Sign language. Okay enough jokes. 

 

I’m thinking of cutting my hair because it is way too long but at the same time I don’t want to because it took years of growing it. Sorry for rambling about my first world problems, God, I know it is annoying. I know there are way more concerning problems like global warming, Covid, sea level is rising etc etc…. and I’m here having a pity party about my life. Anyways I’m hardstuck gold/platinum in Valorant now. Hope I can get to diamond soon but it will take a lot of work but I’m just too lazy for that. 

Really wish I could travel the world right now but I have too many responsibilities to attend to. I’d really love to go to Japan and the countries my friends live in. I bet it would be really cool to hangout with my friends from other countries. It is going to be really memorable if we ever do hangout.

 

                                                                                                                    Sincerely ya boy,

                                                                                                                                         Alv

 

W4: Dear Mom & Dad

Alvin Jarryll Anak Joseph - 2202193

Dear Mom & Dad

          How are you two? I am doing quite well - don't worry. I have so much things to tell the both of you. Things I probably won't dare to tell you in real life or personally - the only way is probably through this blog. First and foremost, I just want to say - I love you two a lot - like A LOT. I am probably to shy to say it aloud but know that I'm always grateful for everything that you've done for me and for our entire family. The sacrifices you two made to make sure we're all safe, healthy and well fed is something that I cannot repay so easily. The love you two share for each other throughout the years of marriage are literally goals. Despite the pointless arguments and occasional banters - you two had your love for each other stay so strong.

         Every moments of my life - there aren't any time where I wouldn't think about you two. I don't really call a lot or reply the family group chat very often, but I do try to keep up with the goings within the family. I remember the one time where I tried to call you how you two were - There wasn't any contact for 2 days. It fueled my anxiety so much that I called auntie to ask for your whereabouts. When I found out that you two just went for camping hike with a couple of your friends did I manage to breathe out a sigh of relief. Though the situation was quite funny to think about - the experience was quite worrisome to be honest hahaha. That just shows I don't call that often at all - to be fair - that's my fault and mistake. Nowadays I do try to keep in contact a bit more often.

           I remembered back in 2021 when I landed my first job as an Intern in an animation studio, it was definitely terrifying and scary since I've never actually had any work experience; but you two assured I would be fine and I can do great. That manage to soothe my anxiety and my 3 months intern goes by just like that without much problem. The experience in the studio was great, I learned a lot from them - though to be fair right now - I've actually forgotten like 90% of the things I learned. Then the 5 months of hell happen, I didn't say much during this time but I was struggling quite a lot as the studio itself was struggling. The pressure from deadline, superiors and delayed salary was piling up the stress that I felt; but whenever you two called about how I'm doing, I just smiled and said everything is fine because I didn't want to have you two worry for me so much.

         I never spoke of it but somehow you two managed to pick up the façade I putting on. You guys helped me by paying for my rent for the coming several months and also transfer some money enough for me to buy groceries that would help me get through the month without starving myself. I could never repay all of this in my lifetime - and therefore I'll always be eternally grateful and do my best to be the best filial son you could ever ask for. Raising me must be tough - the personality difference from when I was a kid to when I'm already a grown up. I still never understand how I was such an active, friendly and also extroverted child when I'm way more introverted now. Must be shocking to see the apparent difference. 

           Anyways I think I'm going way off topics but nevertheless all I just want to say is - I could never ask for a better parent and I'll always love you two. Take care and with all my heart - Love you always

From your bestest, greatest, most handsomest son, ME!💓

W2: Dear Past Self

Alvin Jarryll Anak Joseph - 2202193

Dear past self, how are you doing? I don’t think you can read this at all, but who knows, time travel might be a possibility or a time loop. Nothing is for certain after all. 

I would like to say a lot of things to you. Things I should and shouldn’t do, and things that could be an opportunity that I missed. But alas, I don’t think that’s even possible. Well who am I to say if something is impossible but that’s a question for another time.

First and foremost, I just want to say thank you, for being who you are. It’s not exactly easy being the clueless buffoon that you are sometimes but somehow you still managed to get to where you are right now. It still deserve an applause regardless - well it should be more like a pat on the back in this case.

Normally, I would want to write something I want to avoid and what I could do better for myself and ways to improve myself. But I don’t think that should be done, for now at least. I just want to tell myself that whatever I mistakes I did, whatever stupid decisions I made and whatever impulsive action I acted upon.

Maybe I do want to give you advice or maybe lecture you. Remember that 3 cheesy pizza you ate in one whole sitting? Maybe stop doing that please? I mean the pizza is great - no regrets there - but I don't think lactose intolerance give a single care about me. It's a pain in the bum - quite literally to be stuck in the toilet just suffering from nature's call of wrath. 

That's one of it, another one is - STOP DOING THINGS LAST MINUTE! I know that procrastination is huge issue for you - and you're quite easily distracted and quite often time have difficulty focusing. Maybe it's ADHD; I'm not diagnosed with it - well I never went to have it properly check for.

Some things quite often time feels difficult, dreadful and anxiety inducing for you. You have a habit of bottling your emotions a bit too much, perhaps way too much. It is going to be a problem if suddenly a trigger cause you  to explode out all that pent up emotions. Have a confidant, someone you trust to talk to. There is no need to talk about all of them all at once, just share a little a burden. I don't think they mind listening to you about it. Don't worry too much okay, you got to do it at your own pace and don't rush it. Haste makes waste as people say. 

I do not think I have any other words to say to myself. So I believe this is where I conclude my writing. Remember - take a deep breath and relax when you feel overwhelmed. Goodbye and take care.